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“I Yam What I Yam”

July 10, 2013

How many times have we heard people that we know, including ourselves, make a statement about how we are a particular type of person and we cannot change who we are? We talk about ourselves as though we actually have a good understanding of what you might find under our proverbial “hood’. The fascinating thing is that I am not sure what I “yam”. Popeye knew who he was, or should I say knows who he is since I don’t believe that cartoon characters can die. He was steadfastly in love with Olive and the primary reason I wanted to eat spinach when I was 8 years old. We, unfortunately do not all have a clear perception of who we are.


For those of us that believe in God and are called to His purpose we believe that we are a new creation, transformed by God making us worthy to be able to address him and to seek His righteousness. But while I am no longer the debased sinner I once was I still continue to sin and have discovered that as often as I ask God to help me in this area there is little help that I can easily identify.


This is when I have to remember that it is not about me. It is all about God and His will. The discovery of who I am is not really all that important. It is worth a few idle minutes of consideration but clearly not the amount of time that I tend to give it. My creature comforts are simply that, creature comforts provided for this earthly vessel to use while I am here. I can think that I own or possess those things but they are not mine except that they are available for me to use.


I live alone at this time. It is the first time that I have lived alone in the sixty two years that I have been alive. I have been alone, but I have always lived with others. My first roommates were my parents and then my sister and brother were added to the household, then there were my college roommates, they were followed by men with whom I spent time in the army, after that my wife who was followed by my daughters (the best roommates ever!), then there were those with whom I spent time in jail., my friend Lana, the men at the New Person Center, my roommates in my apartment when I lived in Reading and finally my youngest daughter and her family (who have moved back to Pennsylvania). This solitude has given me ample time to investigate me.  I cannot be characterized as a person by any of these relationships, there is only one relationship that can define me because it is a relationship that lives within me. (“…for the spirit of God is within you. – Luke 17:21)

I am now looking at the great examples of solitude in God’s kingdom. If first you examine Moses and his time wandering the wilderness before coming to an encampment where he would meet his wife we see man cast a drift by his mother only to be cared for by God. It is these situations, when you are able to seek Him because there is no one else to seek, that you recognize that you do not have the importance that you once believed that you did.


We have much to celebrate but at the same time are we aware of the transformation that God has made within us. I find myself asking a question; has this transformation been what I initially thought it was to be? The answer that comes back to me is a resounding “no”. How can I be worthy even after this rebirth has occurred. We are told that have had a good work begun in us and that we are clay to be fashioned by our Father, the Potter. We again are to be tried and tempered like fine gold and silver. The process is continuous. Our reliance on our Lord and Savior much be constant.


When I find myself wondering who I am and what I am all about. I find that I am what I am because God is what God is. He has made me, fashioned me from the dust. Breathed life into me and has now pulled me out of the slimy pit that I have fallen into and placed me on a Rock of salvation.


What more do I want? What more do I truly need? I need nothing but our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him goes all the glory- rightfully so!





One Comment
  1. Interesting–except for 23 or 24 years (includes childhood, marriage, roommates) I have lived alone during my just turned 67 years. I am very comfortable with it. Maybe I learned it in childhood that being alone was safer. Being alone is better than being with someone who disdains you. But the Bible says it is not good for man to dwell alone. So, Lord, are you going to have me hobble down the aisle when I’m 92? I suppose I will if that will be to your honor and glory.


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