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This Post Will Show How Old I Really Am

April 27, 2013
On the Threshold of a Dream

On the Threshold of a Dream (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The title of this post has virtually nothing to do with the message that I am working on today. I was composing one of the posts earlier in the week and thought about situations where you can find yourself questioning your worthiness to receive God’s grace. That worthiness is, again, something that is within man’s domain for in God’s eyes we are told that all are unworthy hence all equal and the concept of worthiness is moot.

Nevertheless, I still went down the path not because I am feeling that way now but because I remember feeling that way and the fear of being discovered how unlovable I “really” was caused me to become more and more distant from those around me. What sparked these thoughts or if you prefer the word triggered was the lyrics to a song from the late 1960s by a band that was fairly prolific and deemed, by some, to be somewhat superficial in their message. The band, The Moody Blues and the song is “Never Comes The Day” on the album “On The Threshold Of A Dream” (copyright Moody Blues 1969). I am going to quote just one line within the song and I am not concerned with context. The line is “…If only you knew what’s inside of me now, You wouldn’t want to know me somehow,…”

When I reflect upon that, it takes me to some very dark thoughts that I had. I think that this is a common thread with most of us. We see ourselves as uniquely different from all of those that we share this world, yet we are so much the same. The image of isolation that this verse conjures is dramatic for me. It speaks of how someone can feel unworthy of others love. It is where Satan goes when he wants to convict you of the fact that God could not love someone that did or thought what you have.

God has paid an extreme ransom for us to look at that is being anything other than an attempt to drive a wedge between the good Sheppard and his flock, the foundlings that He has searched so diligently for and sacrificed so much to ensure our well-being. There are no secrets that can be kept from our God, He knows all. That is a great thing. He forces our honesty. He liberates our miserable souls. He has given us the truth and the truth as set us free!

When my dark secrets were made public and there was nowhere to hide from them, I recognized that, while they are not something to be proud of, they represent the point when I could finally unburden the shame and guilt that I have experienced. I was forgiven, I forgive, even myself.

So, with apologies to the lyrics – If because you know what’s inside of me now, That you will want to know my God somehow!

All glory and praise to Him, the healer of all, the liberator of all slaves and our Savior.


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